#Kink sex checklists free#

Tell me what to do with your words / by force.I likely won’t have an orgasm, and that’s OK.It can be hard for me to reach orgasm.I’m embarrassed about having an orgasm in front of you.After I have an orgasm, I want more orgasms / a quiet cuddle / to serve you / hard fucking / ….In order to reach orgasm, I need a vibrator / to have my legs straight / to go inside my own head / ….It’s important to me that you have an orgasm.It’s important to me that I have an orgasm.I might want to have sex in future, but not this time.I want our play to have sexual energy, but I don’t want to have sex.I like it when you stroke my hair, kiss my forehead, ….I want you to touch me in intimate but non-sexual ways.I want our play to be fun but let’s keep our distance.I want pain that is predictable and manageable.Hurt me until I cry / scream / beg for mercy.I do / don’t want to know what’s coming next.I sometimes get triggered by… You can recognize it by… When it happens, I need….When play gets intense, I can become non-verbal.I want to not have to be in control for a while.I want to feel beautiful / exposed / vulnerable / safe / competent / in control / loved / sexy / desired / powerful / afraid / overwhelmed / ….I need you to be always confident and in control.I like it when you call me slut and whore, but don’t call me bitch or cunt.I want you to be loving / rough / gentle / angry / mocking / strict / demanding with me.

I’m secretly auditioning you as a play partner / lover.I’m looking for an occasional / ongoing play partner.It’s important to me that you do what you want without worrying about what I like.Fundamentally, I want you to do what I want.This scene will be a success for me if….I want to learn / practice a new skill.

I want to do something once, to say I’ve done it.

I want to try something new to see if I like it.

#Kink sex checklists free#

And, obviously, feel free to add / modify sentences as you see fit. Rather than giving your partner a filled-in version of this list, consider giving them a short list of the sentences that most resonated for you. Rather, look at this as a collection of ideas that may be useful to you in understanding yourself, or that you may want your partner to know about you. This isn’t meant to be a checklist: don’t go down the page putting 1s and 4s and NOs next to each line, or circling things in red and green ink. Hopefully you’ll find it to be of some use. It’s primarily meant for bottoms, and is doubtless more than a little idiosyncratic. Here’s a first stab at creating the tool that I’ve been looking for but haven’t found. What I really want is not so much a list of activities, but rather a peek inside their head: what makes them tick, and what would it take to make them tock? I’ve found, though, that this sheet doesn’t really meet my needs when I’m negotiating with a new partner, especially someone who’s fairly new to kink. I’m a big fan of the fantastic one page negotiation checklist created by It’s succinct, well-organized, and does a great job of summarizing what you actually need to know during casual pick-up play.